I feel like I'm choking

I feel like I'm slowly drifting to the bottom of a pool

The deep end...

and no matter how much I try to fight,

and sometimes I do, and I win for a couple of seconds

I'm actually drowning.

How do I find my way to the surface?

I just want to be happy.

I just want to be having fun.

Please, why am I so miserable?

I'm so confused about what I'm supposed to be doing.

Letting her go...

Or fighting to make it work.

Love isn't work.

Love is beautiful.

I'm a hopeless romantic, and I'm allowing myself to be miserable.

fuck.

Jason Robert Ballard - Trash can

I wish I just had a best friend, I wish I had a home base that wasn’t so wrong. I wish things in one area of my life were going the right way =/

And the more all this crap happens, the more alone I feel…. It’s kind of… well… Lonely.

I just can’t help but wish someone would just honestly look at me, and smile and say hey… I know you’re mister tough guy, but I truly appreciate everything you do, and I’m sorry everything sucks. I feel like if one person just understood that I feel used and neglected and I feel like a door mat and a trash can for everyone else’s problems. Just one person…. and everything would be alright, and I could find the strength to just keep being mr tough guy.

But right now I just feel like a child… and I feel like nothing I do or have done is enough for anyone =/

Blahblahblah… poor me blahblah.