Jason Robert Ballard - May 8th (#2)

I would be lying to myself if I said I never wanted this blog to be found.

Is all that I am just a bunch of politics and publicity stunts,

A scatter plot of places to creep on my life.

Find out what I'm doing... how I'm feeling.

If someone were to only see these imaginary pages on their computer screen

If that who they knew... Who do they know?

I hope very much that your creeping has lead you here.

But I can not say that you'll be happy with what you've found.

This is the unpublished version of Jason Robert Ballard.

God only know what that could lead to.

Today really meant nothing.

I Just because she's on vacation doesn't mean I am.

I need to get this shit together and take the end of monroe cc seriously.

The end of community colleges.

I'm trying not to hold my breath.

I feel as if I'm stupid when I know fucking well I'm not.

I'm a genius. I'm a creative genius,

and I'm lazy and thats why I won't amount to anything.

Does knowing that change anything?

What does it prove to accomplish goals to get to a future I don't know if I want.

Don't get me wrong these doubts are not about the relationship in my life.

She has everything planned out all I have to do is be the other half.

Right now it's like we're playing house, and then one day we really will be.

I'm okay with this... In fact this makes me happy.

Finally all my hard work at being Mr Perfect is being appreciated.

I'm compensating for not having a penis.

We can get that right out in the open right away.

Also, I've been hurt to many times.

I've been cheated on to many times

I've been committed and 100% in a relationship ready to be with them forever.

And each time they fuck it up.

They do... not me.

I'm not being a dick... I'm being honest.

Danielle is different though,

I say this every time but she's a new kind of different.

It's not all lust and sex. She doesn't let me buy her anything.

I don't feel used or under appreciated.

I feel like an equal...

isn't that the way it should be?